In and Out, Up and Down

I've forgotten if I have ever mentioned that Daddy and I work in the nightclub industry on the weekends. It's a lot of fun and I enjoy meeting new people, and there's always something dramatic and/or interesting happening. Never a boring night, that's for certain. However, we've learned the big downside to all this socializing: we pick up every single illness that every single moron who's too sick to be out but went out anyway is carrying with them. UGH.

So this is the third week that we've been juuuust recovering from one illness only to fall prey to another because neither of our immune systems have had the chance to build back up. It's put a significant crimp in our loving -- one generally needs to breathe without coughing or needing to grab a tissue in order to, say, bury one's face in one's lover's delicious nether regions. We've made do with our fingers (when neither of us is absolutely in misery, which has been very rare over the last three weeks) and have racked up many promises of tantalizing and evil things to do to one another once we're better.

Yesterday it was all looking much better: Daddy was about halfway through Cold #3 and I wasn't hacking too hard from Cough #2 and it had been days since either of us had managed an orgasm. We had somewhere to be in 45 minutes, so we needed to shower...and of course that meant getting naked, which naturally led to tumbling one another on the bed in a mass of warm skin and hungry lips and flushed cheeks and exploring hands. He threw me onto my back, peeled back the covers and kissed his way down my stomach, hooking my legs over his shoulders and pressing his mouth and nose between my folds within a matter of seconds. I gasped, laughing, as he took a long, deep breath.

"You smell amazing, little girl," he murmured, and slipped his tongue inside me, working it in and out rhythmically. My hips matched it and we moved together until I couldn't stand it any longer. "Please," I whispered, "please, I need you inside me."

He flashed that knowing grin at me and grabbed the lube. And then...my uterus tightened uncomfortably. Cramps. Unmistakable, painful, and FIVE DAYS EARLY -- cramps! I cursed silently to myself and decided they would just have to hold off until we were through.

His fingers teased my entrance and made me squirm just the way he likes. "You need me right there, baby? Right there?" I moaned shamelessly and tried to impale myself on him. He chuckled and drew back just enough to keep me from getting what I wanted, "Yes, right there, I think..." Suddenly I was filled with him and it was enough to make me arch my back and cry out. "Good girl, good girl," he told me, stroking me inside firmly. It always makes me feel emotional when he does this -- it brings me back to my first time with him.

All too soon I was coming, his hand was full of me, and I was breathing hard, half never-wanting-him-to-pull-out and half wanting-my-mouth-on-him-right-away. The cramps were much better -- perhaps there's truth to orgasms helping with that? At any rate, I switched places with him, glancing at the clock.

"I'm going to skip the foreplay, I think," I told him, kissing his stomach between words and working my way downward. "Besides, you should be pretty worked up after fucking me like that, right?" I found his clit, completely extended from beneath its hood -- T really is a miracle worker! -- and hard, just like I like it.

He mumbled something in the affirmative and scooted up the bed to give me better access. "Two fingers inside me, please," he managed to tell me as my tongue curled around his clit. I didn't answer, just complied. It's arguably his favourite way to come while I'm fucking him, and it wasn't long before he did, his muscles tight around my fingers and my mouth full of him.

Reluctantly, I pulled out of him and we held each other for a few minutes. I am still amazed at the emotional connection that I experience with him through sex. It's a kind of closeness that seems to be specific to making love with him and I cherish it so completely.

And then it was time to get in the shower and now today we're both sick again and I have my period but still, the warm feeling I get remembering that closeness is with me. Once again I must say this: I am a lucky, lucky grrl.

Innocence for Days

When I first established this blog, Daddy and I had intended to write it together. That hasn't happened (obviously!), partly because he's demurely insistent that he isn't a good writer, (though he absolutely is), and partly, I think, because he's come to think of this place as my own, a place where he can see some of what I think about this facet of our life.

Occasionally he'll ask me to write about a specific topic. Sometimes this is a simple request and sometimes it's more of an order. He made one such request some time ago -- a week? two? -- and I've been sitting on it ever since. I think I'm ready to address it now, though.

SO! Anal sex! Here we go.

Anal is something I think I've touched (heh) upon here but I'll review quickly. In the past, I've fucked nearly every biomale I've ever been with in the ass -- usually with my fingers or tongue, but occasionally with an appropriate toy or two. Now, it's not like I went into sex with guys thinking, "Gosh, I'm just waiting for the right moment to stick it in!" or anything, but as far as I'm concerned, there's not a lot I won't at least try if my partner wants it and gets pleasure from it. So by the time Daddy and I got together, I'd had quite a bit of experience as the penetrative partner in anal sex.

Receiving is a totally different story, though. I have always found it nearly intolerably painful. Even a single finger -- even a single SMALL finger -- caused me intense pain, no matter how much lube we threw at the problem. Not only that, but as far as I was concerned, I have a pussy and I'd far rather use that, thanks. But I gamely tried it time and time again, especially since I find the idea of having another orifice available for penetration quite hot.

Now, Daddy's past in terms of anal sex was somewhat similar in that he's fucked bioboys before -- even with a strapon, which is something I've not done -- but not as often, I think, as I have. Receptively he was even less experienced than me, however. His previous long-time partner found the idea disgusting and saw fit to mention that fact frequently and loudly. That contributed to his shame about That Area, to the point where he completely buried his real feelings on the matter. It wasn't until we'd become more comfortable with one another that he was able to admit that it's something he's always been interested in.

So with time I was able to discover that he enjoyed it when I took his clit in my mouth and gently penetrated him with a fingertip. I've worked up to an entire finger once or twice but this is something he can't take for long. We'll get there.

With that discovery came the discovery that he really, really wanted to fuck my ass. I wasn't sure how I felt about this. I was certainly willing to try, with the caveat that it wasn't likely to work, but hey, why not? So we did.

At first it hurt. He was gentle but I found anything other than simple massage to be painful, as I always had. I took to laying him on his back, laying my head on his ribcage and jerking him off or fucking him with one hand while he fingered my ass with the other. It gets him off beautifully and one night....it felt good. It felt REALLY good. It felt so good that I had what I can only assume was an orgasm -- it felt different from any kind of orgasm I've yet had but it felt GREAT and left me shaking so I don't know what else to call it.

I don't know if that night was a fluke, but we took full advantage of it. He flipped me onto my back and slipped a finger back into my ass, handing me a vibrator with the other. I turned it on as he penetrated my cunt with two fingers and roughly located my g-spot (which I love, love, love, oh god I love it so much) and placed it against my clit.

20 moments of bliss followed, my body so strung out with desire and arousal so acute it was nearly painful, and I came harder than I ever have before...so hard, in fact, that I ejaculated. That's a major first to me, and one we've been unable to recreate since (though we haven't done that exact thing since...perhaps that's a theory I'll need to test!) but as Daddy put it, one moment his hand in my cunt was slick and the next it was soaked. I'll report back on that for sure.

We haven't been able to repeat that experience (yet) but I hope to do it again because it was wonderful. Since then, it hasn't been as good and in fact, the other night it was downright painful. It's a difficult feeling to describe, especially since I get off on Daddy hurting me...just...not there. It's not the kind of pain I like at all. That's something we'll need to work on.

So we're making a lot of progress on the anal front. Having him inside me like that was actually quite moving for me, as that is the last of my "traditional" virginity. I often wish that he was the only person I was ever with at all, (though of course that would have its own challenges, I'm sure), so it makes me happy that he has that particular part of my sexual experience all to himself.

There are so many kinds of virginity, though, and in all ways that matter, he has mine. I say it all the time in these posts, but only because it's true: he's made everything new for me. I am the luckiest girl in the world.

More Reasons to Love T

{NOTE: This post details a somewhat more intense sexual practice than I have discussed before. I mention it in case any of my readers are easily disturbed by discussion of pain and pleasure -- I assume that isn't an issue for most but I'd rather put it out there just in case.}



*


*


*


I mentioned in my last post that I adore T, and I do, for more reasons than Daddy's increased libido. For another thing, his facial hair has begun to grow and fill in, and if he doesn't shave about once every other day, he ends up with a bristly chin (and even a bit above his upper lip, too!). This is exciting because he only bumped his dosage higher and shortened his time between shots about two months ago, so these new changes are very exciting to us both...

...in more ways than one. Before Daddy and I got together, I hadn't explored my interest in heavier pain play at all. As an idea, pain in a sexual context turned me on (immeasurably), but sometimes the things we think are sexy are just bad ideas when put into practice. Which is why a rich fantasy life is a good thing to cultivate. :)

But as his beard began to grow in, I began to get ideas. A few weeks ago, while he was gripping both my nipples and rolling them between his fingers, I gasped, "Harder!" He smirked and complied, but not enough for my satisfaction. So again, "Harder!" and again his smirk, until he had both in a vice grip and I was writhing with pain...and on the edge of orgasm. The next morning he looked me over, certain that I should be bruised and over-sensitive -- and I was sensitive, but not bruised, and not at all in pain. Instead I loved him even more fiercely for daring to hurt me in ways I wanted so desperately but had been too afraid to request before. I really thought he would draw the line at my nipples, much less my cunt or clit. Happily, I have been proven wrong.

(And before I continue, let me make it very, very clear: this is what I want. The pleasure I get from all this eclipses anything that came before, and I could not and would not choose to go back, ever. I do have a safeword in place, and he always listens if I need to back off or stop entirely. I have never felt safer, more loved, cherished, or protected than I do when I am in his arms. This is what I need, and I am extraordinarily lucky, because it's what he needs, too.)

Once we discovered this mutual love of nipple torture, I often found myself laying on my side with him behind me, my arms over my head, his arms wrapped around me and crossed in front of me, one nipple in each hand, and his slick cunt pressed to my hipbone or against my ass, his breath hot in my ear as he came and came and came. I writhed with him, (his pleasure only fans the flame of my desire), and sometimes brought out my favourite vibrator. But still I wanted more.

One night, he had one nipple in his mouth, teeth gently scraping the tip, while he twisted the other. He let the one slip from his mouth to say something to me, and accidentally scraped it with his beard scruff. And I gasped: it felt incredible! "You like that, pet?" he asked -- he never misses a single reaction from me -- and when I nodded frantically, he lowered his chin and began to scrape my nipple back and forth. Eventually I came hard -- HARD -- and hid my face.

"What's wrong, baby?" He pulled me close and gently turned my face to his.

"I'm sorry, I just thought you might not want to do that. I've wanted you to but didn't know how to ask or if that was too heavy for you..." I trailed off. Everyone is different, and not every person that is into BDSM is into it to the same degree. Some tops are happy to whip one's back bloody but wouldn't dream of dealing pain to one's more delicate bits. I don't know why I didn't just ask him how he felt about it...well, I guess I do. I just wasn't sure I could take it, and I didn't want to open a door that I'd then have to close later.

At any rate, the door was open and we both loved it. Scruffing, as we called it, became a regular part of our lovemaking. One night, as I was stuck at the edge of orgasm, he growled in my ear, "Come, or I swear I'll scruff your cunt bloody." I think I almost pulled a neck muscle riding that orgasm out.

So there it was, out there as a threat but not in practice at all. I have mentioned before that I am reluctant to receive oral sex -- I have a bad history with it, but also I feel that I take too long (I know, there's no such thing as taking too long, and this is not at ALL coming from Daddy. This is all my own issue that we are both working on together.) and most of the time it doesn't get me off because I can't allow myself to relax into it.

But Daddy loves it, and I love to make him happy, (and I love that he makes me feel so wanted, so beautiful, so special to him), so normally he'll tell me that he just wants my taste for a while, and normally I say I'd love to be close to him like that but as a forewarning I don't feel like I'll be able to come, and we both agree and he goes down on me for a while, and it feels wonderful, and then we continue on with something else that often does make me come, usually internally rather than from my clit.

One evening he was on his stomach between my legs, his tongue lightly stroking my clit, while I held my outer lips open for him. He gripped my inner lips, pulled them taut, and sucked my clit into his mouth. This always makes me squirm, so he presses against me more firmly, and that's when I felt his chin digging into the entrance of my cunt.

It was prickly and sharp and it hurt. And I loved it, and I swear I got twice as wet in mere seconds. I pressed my legs further apart and bucked my hips against him, increasing the bite of his whiskers into my sensitive flesh. He looked up at me and smirked, then slowly began to shake his head. Oh my god, my eyes rolled back in my head and I had to beg him to stop and fuck me right that second. I came and came.

This brings us to last night. We'd worked until very very late, but when we got to bed I was too keyed up to sleep even though it was a positively ungodly hour. So I smoked up and was able to relax enough to lay down and turn off the light. He leaned up and over me and began to kiss me, and soon we were making out furiously and both of us were naked. I am much, much more responsive when my inhibitions are lifted, and there's been a lot of life stress on us both lately, so this relaxation has been a long time coming.

He bit at my nipples, pulling and twisting them with his fingers, and I panted -- it felt so good I thought I might be able to come just from that (which would be a first for me), but soon he pushed me up the bed and spread my legs, pressing my lips apart and attacking my clit with his tongue.

It felt heavenly. I went from aroused to desperately aroused in seconds, though I just kept wanting him harder. I couldn't speak, could only moan my encouragement, and as he pressed against me I again felt his chin against my entrance and his whiskers biting into me. I wantonly thrust against this pain/pleasure, wishing desperately that he'd make good on his threat from before. As his tongue grew tired, he responded to my hip movements and began to scruff my lips and vulva. I was in ecstasy and tried to press my clit against the roughness, unable to ask for what I so desperately wanted.

And then he did it. His chin rubbed against my aching clit, the hard bristles scraping my skin painfully and yet all I felt was pleasure. I snapped my hips against him, dragging my cunt up his chin from clit to the very bottom of the opening of my cunt. I realized I was probably scraping the skin enough to make it hurt the next day, but I didn't care. I was on the edge of an orgasm of a magnitude I had never before achieved, and he felt it, too. He grabbed my hips, roughly spread my lips, and scruffed my clit, over and over, hard.

I came after a few seconds, my eyes rolled back in my head, and I think I screamed. (Not in pain, I assure you.) And this morning I am sore, yes, (but not bloody, not even last night) and no, I don't plan on doing it again today (I don't intend myself serious or long-lasting irritation), but I will definitely, definitely be asking for it again. It was blindingly intense, wonderful, and the hottest thing I've done in a long time -- and that's saying a lot, since I think my Daddy is the hottest thing this side of the sun itself.

Have I said it lately? I am a lucky, lucky grrl.

A is for Anal

So, anal sex. When we got together, both Daddy and I skirted the issue nervously and left it alone for the most part. I had tried it before, a couple of times, but always with little pleasure and more than a little pain. Never more than a fingertip had entered my body, and even then it was just Not Good. Orgasms for me are almost purely mental and if I can't talk myself into arousal (or if my partner doesn't talk to me while fucking me) it just isn't going to happen, and I couldn't coax myself through the pain to any kind of significant pleasure. So I stopped, somewhat regretting that I couldn't just DO IT -- I mean, it looks fun. I like the idea; the thought of having a second orifice available for penetration turns me on greatly. Just, in practice, it didn't work.

On the other hand, I have been the "giver" of anal sex, (oh, I know that is totally not the way to word that but I can't think of a better way to say it right now!) with nearly every partner I have had. I like the way my fingers feel buried in my lover's ass, and I love the intensity of the orgasms that come (heh) afterward. I really enjoy being the penetrative partner, the one to assess the situation and go slowly when it's needed, or faster and harder when it's time. I function very well on that kind of level and it makes me feel extremely connected with my lover. And it makes me feel very...tenderly protective. It's the closest I come to topping, honestly.

As we became more and more comfortable with each other and ourselves when we were in bed together, both Daddy and I gradually admitted that anal was one kind of sex we hadn't been comfortable exploring, but that now we were both curious. In fact, his previous partner had used anal sex as a target of ridicule and made it seem filthy, something of which one ought to be ashamed. (Need I add that they never even tried?) He was even more reluctant to admit his interest because of the mentality that he'd become accustomed to. It took a lot of coaxing on my part to help him understand that I find nothing about him or his body filthy or gross, and never could. Besides, I really do believe that if sex isn't messy, (at least SOMETIMES), then you aren't doing it right!

Earlier this week, I was going down on him, mouth snug against his clit, two fingers working deep inside his cunt, (wet, always so amazingly wet for me), when he asked me to please add his ass to the mix. It pains him to make this kind of request, and I don't actually require that he does it, but since this is such a sensitive issue with him, I am often reluctant to just go for it without knowing it's what he wants. When he made his request my heart swelled with pride for him and, fully aware of the effort it had cost him to ask, I gladly reached for the lube.

It took a little doing, as I was already laying on my stomach between his legs and partially propped up on my elbows, but in a few moments I was able to maneuver my left hand carefully between his cheeks. I stroked there gently, moving my mouth back to his clit and sliding the fingers of my right hand back into his gorgeous cunt. (Side note: I am unbelievably careful about which hand goes where -- I NEVER use fingers on the same hand to stimulate his cunt and his ass at the same time, much less move one hand from his ass to his cunt. I use my left hand for his ass and my right for his cunt, always. I just don't want to transfer any bacteria where it shouldn't go. Totally careful at all times about this.) He was tight -- nervous, I think -- and so I didn't push at all, just gently ran my fingertips over the ridges and valleys of him, feeling the contractions elicited by my fingers in his cunt echo in the twitches of his anus. It was lovely and I was prepared for that to be the extent of our exploration for the evening.

However, I think the sensation of so much stimulation between his legs was what allowed me to accidentally slip one fingertip into his anus after only five minutes or so. He moaned deep in his chest and began to buck against my hands, a huge orgasm washing through his body and shoving my fingers out of both ass and cunt. He is so strong! I hung onto his clit with my mouth, tongue working furiously, and penetrated him again in both holes. Another orgasm, this one complete with his body lifting entirely off the bed and shouts of pleasure that I'm sure were audible to our neighbors. (What do I care? Let 'em be jealous. :)

He begged me to stop then, and I did. His emotional reaction afterward was entirely reasonable; he was shaken by the pleasure he'd felt and still in the throes of "butt-shame" as he calls it. I washed my hands quickly, came back, held him, comforted him, and reminded him that he is beautiful and so his his body.

It's true; his body is perfect to me. It is a source of so much pleasure for both of us, and feeling him come as hard as he did that night satisfies me in a deep, intense way. I love when he lets me hold him, I love to take care of him, and that night brought out my tender, protective side like nothing had before.

He's my Daddy and I love him until the end of time and beyond.

(Soon I will detail my first experience with receiving anal from him. It was...intense.)